Gregology.net

Greg's Cat Paradox I

It is a scientifically proven fact that cats always land on their feet. What would happen if we were to remove a cats feet and sticky tape them to its back? I am on a quest to find out what actually happens. When the question was put to Professor Pat Simpson FRS, Professor of Comparative Embryology, Department of Zoology at the University of Cambridge she screamed and replied "What the hell are you doing in my bathroom" and I was asked to leave. When the question was then put to my mate Eddie at a party in a drunken conversation. He decided to try to solve the paradox with an experiment. Eddie was arrested later that night when an old lady called the police reporting that a drunk man was out side her house trying to get her cat Choco out of a tree. Currently I am communicating with a dozen universities trying to secure funding to solve this paradox but so far I have had no luck.

Greg's Cat Paradox II

If you were to remove a cats feet and sticky tape them to the ceiling, what would then happen when you drop the cat? One theory put forward by my mate Eddie was that the cat would fall upward toward the ceiling. I emailed this amazing paradox to Professor Pat Simpson FRS and her lawyer replied stating that if I communicate again with Mrs. Simpson I face possible court action. This was really insight full but I did not understand how it related to the paradox. Again I have being trying to  get funding to solve this paradox but again with little success. The only university that is interested is Murdoch in Perth but I want my research to be taken seriously so I think I'll decline and wait for a real university to accept me.